S3:E7 CONVINCED? OH, BUT CONVENIENCE AND IDENTITY

Disclaimer: MettlEdge is a professional coaching company. While I have a personal belief system, when I coach I do not lead my clients to embrace my belief system. My job is to challenge them to align with their own personal values and beliefs.

In my podcast episodes, especially this series, I openly share my faith in Jesus and my shared thoughts will often align with my beliefs. I share my thoughts for the purpose of igniting yours.

Agree or disagree with me, but think.

Feel free to skip over this series if it is too aligned with my own personal faith for you to find benefit for yourself.

I was talking with a friend close to ten years ago and we came to the realization that our cognitive and emotional default rarely, if ever, seems to be the peace we have in Christ. This may be quite obvious to you, but for us, we were stopped by the realization. Naturally, we seem much like the snickers bar commercial before the snickers. That is, irritable, defensive, anxious. Think about it. If we aren’t these, it’s generally because we have taken some sort of action upon our inner selves to draw in the peace we have in Christ - to fan into flame. It’s on us to take this action. And we have been equipped to do so by the power of the Sprit in us who has given us a spirit of self-control. Yet, by default, our inner peace today is often crowded by a personal desire to not be inconvenienced. To not be disrupted. To not stop to take such time.

We don’t want to be inconvenienced physically so we want access to everything we might need. Or want. We don’t want to be inconvenienced mentally so we want access to everything we think we need or want. And we don’t want to be inconvenienced in the plan that we have for our life, our children’s lives, our family, our community. We want to conveniently make that kingdom of ours within the walls of God’s. When was the last time you thought that wanting your own kingdom, your own way, was actually wanting to not be inconvenienced?

Welcome to episode 7 of our current Serenity in Motion Podcast Series Resting in the Arms of the One who disarmed you. I’ve been away for a week and I now have a daughter in law! My oldest son married the most fun, Jesus-loving, adventurous, and kind young woman last week. But, I’m back to the weekly grind and today is a dousy.

We don’t want to be inconvenienced physically so we want access to everything we might need. Or want. We don’t want to be inconvenienced mentally so we want access to everything we think we need or want. And we don’t want to be inconvenienced in the plan that we have for our life, our children’s lives, our family, our community. We want to conveniently make that kingdom of ours within the walls of God’s. Can you relate?

Take a moment and focus:

When was the last time you thought that wanting your own kingdom, your own way, was actually wanting to not be inconvenienced? What’s going through your mind?

This thought which I believe came from the Lord as an awakening in my own life is worth our consideration. Our peace is at stake. In fact relationship is at stake. Because relationship is never convenient. Neither are emotions. And emotions come with relationship. Whether that be with others, with God or even with ourselves. They don’t fit into a nice box. They are not black-and-white. They require work and often work that is inconvenient.

Even when we welcome them in, will we sit with them and put them to work?

In addition to time working on them requires courage. Culturally in the United States, it’s probably safe to say working on developing our inner self requires more courage than working on developing what people see of us on the outside…our performance.

Perhaps this has to do with identity. I don't want to be seen as someone whose emotions prevent them from functioning. At the same time, that would suggest I’m comfortable with being perceived as mentally capable. These ideas tie back to my sense of identity: who am I, really? Being capable holds immense value for me, but does that mean it defines me? Do I rely on being capable to feel like myself? If I’m not dependable, does that make me less me? If so, then perhaps I'm trapped in a form of co-dependence—not on another person, but on a cultural value. I’m calling it cultural co-dependence.

Codependency is really a lack of identity. Or a misunderstanding of identity.

There are many symptoms and manifestations of codependency--and I am not an expert--but the bottom line is it is a misunderstood identity.

In effort to gain greater understanding, I searched for the word identity on Biblegateway.org and that word is not found in the NIV version of the Bible. Neither is found in the ESV. It is found in modern, colloquial translations, however.

It was used to describe Joseph’s identity to his brothers, Israel’s identity as God’s people, Jesus’s identity as the son of God and our God-created identity. But only in more modern, everyday language translations of the scriptures.

Is identity a new thing?

No.

Then how was it addressed and talked about at the time of the writing of the Scriptures, I asked myself. After a moment of thinking, I realized they were identified by their family line and genealogies.

I’ll never forget the time when I was asked as a newcomer to a small town, “Who is your dad?” I thought to myself, you’d never know. He doesn’t live here and you’ll probably never meet him. What a strange question to ask. But my answer clearly gave her hers. I’m not from there and that meant something to her. Being from there added value to me in her estimation. Not being from there diminished her interest in our continued interaction. But that’s no way to know me.

We are not our genealogies. We are not defined by our family line and God proves that through scripture by regularly adding in somebody who doesn’t fit in a genealogy – to snap us out of our want to define one another in such a way.

Fuel: So then what are we defined by? What does establish our identity?

And I know everyone wants to say Jesus. Jesus has rescued us. He has returned us to our rightful place in the family of God by giving himself to that we would be covered by his righteousness, restoring us as his brother back into the fold of his family. But that is the key. We come back in. We are restored. And if we are restored that means we were something before. We belonged before.

When did we belong? We belonged when God made Adam and Eve. We, too, were made. We are the created ones, not the creator. We are not our own. I believe we do not have an identity the way that we want to have an identity. We’re not ours to own; we’re trying to own something that we don’t. We are owned by God, whether we are walking with him or not. We belong to Him. Or relationship with him today is dependent on our response to Jesus.

But as for our identity? I don’t believe we have an identity that is unique to me, to you, to anyone. We have the same identity and that is that we belong to God - we are his. We are identified by our source. It is critical that we begin to see ourselves the way God sees us. Because I think when we are seeking to know what is my identity we are doing what those people did with Jesus, but we’re doing it with God. We aren’t acknowledging Him. Even when we to say our identity is in Jesus. Because it’s deeper than that.

To acknowledge God is to be oriented rightly to Him, rather than being oriented to something within ourselves, including our sexuality, our performance, our belonging, reputation, wealth, intellect, appearance, etc. Seeking orientation to ANYTHING within ourselves for identity is idolatry because it puts another source for our being before God. We are all created by God. All identified as His. Any differences in us are the gifts given unto each of us for the purpose of putting Him on display. Not for putting any of us in a position of being recognized. But to place him in front of creation that all of creation would recognize Him as deserving of all worship. Acknowledging Him. That we would see we are His and turn to Him - return to Him. Because we are His. We have nothing to own but to own that we belong to God. That is who we are. Our orientation to Him defines each of us. The desire to be recognized by something sourced from within ourselves, rather than from Him is idolatry.

The question is not who am I. It is who is God? Acknowledging God WILL ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS WE HAVE ABOUT OURSELVES.

FIGHT: In what ways will you fight for rest today?  

What’s that thing popping into your mind and within your power that you can do?  

When will you do it? 

What difference will it make for you and for others when you do? 

Who will you tell? 

I hope you’ll join me next week as we talk about how each of us have a unique God-given design and what that design has to do with how we connect with others.

Please follow and comment on this podcast on apple podcasts and follow, comment on, and share our IG posts @MettlEdge.Coaching 

I pray this podcast has been and continues to be a blessing.